Stop Making Assumptions:Taking The Drama Out Of Day-To-Day Life
Whenever someone comes to me for advice, I always find myself going back to Four Agreements, actually it's just two of them... "Don't Make Assumptions" and "Don't Take Things Personally." I am the queen of both. I guess the good part is that I am not in denial about it, but I've been riding on that excuse for a while though. "Oh, I know that I do that, but I am working on it" when the reality is that I just need to cut it the fuck out.
As an entrepreneur, some of my staff and myself carry this torch of taking things personally AND making assumptions. An email from a client about not receiving a report sends us into a whirl of "they personally hate me, I can't get my life together and I have no business in this field and perhaps I should have pursued a career as a stripper" when in fact, an error report didn't get sent, we send it, automate it and double check that it doesn't happen again.
I'm a somewhat logical person in business. I recognize this emotion based reaction and have been training myself to not freak out, simply address and save my energy for bigger issues. The silly thing is, I completely neglected bringing this into my personal life.
Over the weekend a friend pointed out that not only do I take things personally, but I blanket them in a negative context and assume the most dire meaning. Gross right?! I still feel kind of sick about it, but the worst part is, is that not only have I been told that before but I knew it was true. I've known it was true and I did not nothing about it. I had put all my energy into dealing with work situations in the proper, healthy manner but completely neglected the personal side.
There are two lessons to be gleaned from this weekend... first, just because we (ya you sista) are career focused ambitious power houses, we can't neglected personal development or label "professional development" as personal. There is some separation and if we cannot grow as people, all the success in the business world won't make us happy or better for it. Secondly, knowing without taking action is just about as dumb as being in denial.
My commitment to myself this month is going to be all about taking some of the growth I've recognized in my professional life and applying it to my personal life as well. Namely, don't make assumptions and don't take things personal. I know I"ll be a better person for it, and I am sure some friends will appreciate the take-it-down-a-notch direness of simply situations.
Cheers to a beautiful week and being smart, stronger, sexier than the week before.