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Holding On Too Tight: The Potentially Fatal Flaw

Feb 11, 2019

If you hold sand in your hand, it stays put. When we tighten our grip, it begins to flow through our fingers… Why do we instinctively hold on tighter when we want something? 

If you have spent more than two minutes with me, especially if you work with me, you know that growth happens damn near the speed of light. If your life is a chess board, you can strategically place each piece, family, work, career, health, relationships on each square — strategically moving them forward one game piece at a time.

Until I walk in… then BAM! You want your business to grow? Oh, it’s ALL going to grow right there with you. All of the sudden your health becomes a priority, you start seeing cracks in the foundation of your friendships, your desire to learn and honor finances improves, and the list goes on.

If you have ever been without, which most of us have, you can gain traction and the instinct kicks to hold on tighter. Tighter to clients. People, Money. Time. This shifts us energetically and now we are operating in a place of there is not enough instead of abundance.

How to we move past this potentially fatal flaw?

  • Recognize It: Our thoughts shift from excitement to fear. “Yes, this is good, but it isn’t enough!”

  • Rewrite The Story: Wendy Kim was fundamental in helping me put this into practice in basically every area of my life. You simply write out and acknowledge the old story, “I always take two steps forward and one step back.” and rewrite into your new truth: “I am constantly growing, and open to new opportunities and letting go of what no longer serves me.”

  • Allow Yourself To Feel Those Emotions: For a moment, and then let it go. Reintroduce your new story.

This is all a practice, becoming a true badass doesn’t happen overnight. The fact that you are even reading this shows a level of self-awareness. The title spoke to you. What you do with it, is up to you.

After writing this blog I just HAD to share a live version, so click above and get my 5 minute LIVE!

The amazing thing though, is once you read this and recognize it, you’ll start to see yourself cycle through faster until it becomes a nonissue. If something would knock you off your roll for a couple of days, it will go to one day, to a few hours, to a quick gut check to nothing.

If you have ever been without, which most of us have, you can gain traction and the instinct kicks to hold on tighter.

— Sharon Gutierrez

I remember feeling personally devastated when we finished a contract with a client, and hello, it was a contract for a predetermined amount of time. It was completely irrational to feel upset by this — we had done our job, done it to the best of our ability and it was time for the relationship to transition. It took months to learn to move past those feelings, years to even recognize it was destructive and now I can honestly celebrate the shift in seasons and celebrate the clients transformation.

What areas do you hold onto too tight? What are you going to do about it now? The old adage states, if you love someone, let them go. While it’s romantic in nature, it works for almost anything.

Today I’m choosing to not hold on too tight… and let it go!



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